Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
