they need to just BURY HIM!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
