of course. lets lasso hookers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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