I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I touched a dick in church today
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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