I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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