I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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