i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
