Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
