Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
