I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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