He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
