its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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