I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
