I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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