Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize