Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
