Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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