just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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