i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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