Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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