theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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