I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
