I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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