ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I smell stomach acid.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
