note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize