yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
