Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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