You smell like a Billy Joel song
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
time to smoke my breakfast
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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