Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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