so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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