So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
