If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
