There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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