its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
