i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
God I need to hump something, right now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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