Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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