Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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