Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
