of course. lets lasso hookers.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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