I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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