i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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