i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
