I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
