im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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