its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
