**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
