so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
