there's paper in my vomit.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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