I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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