Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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