I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
