we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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