Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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