If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
