I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
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He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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