Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
