Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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